back to the stone age...

its back to va tomorrow morning...
back to no furniture.
back to no computer.
back to knowing nobody.
back to the bare, white walls...that might drive me crazy if i don't hang a picture or something!!!
does it sound like i'm complaining....
i'm really not.
fuck the simple shit...
i will sit on the floor...watch my cable...and not know anybody(for now)...in MY OWN SHIT!!!!!
i'm getting a couch when i get there....it might take like 2 weeks...special order....you know how i do
i going to order my new macbook pro either tonight or tomorrow morning before i leave...once again...you know how i do

heard this song...fell in love with it...it's my new ringtone for july...


katy perry- i kissed a girl
not that i would kiss a girl.....but i LOVE the song...and the video


listen to this....

so...i want your opinion....this little fella is my little brother...

quick question- this was the first video i uploaded....is it suppose to take FOREVER to upload this damned thing????

so until my computer gets to me....i'll be missing you!

still the baddest

around 10 in the morning...i'm still in my good sleep..even though i'm pissed cause my new couch couldn't fit through my apartment door....so i'm still sitting on the damn hard ass floor, my new bed is so sexy..black queen size sleigh bed..went shopping and got egyptian cotton sheets(mommy's treat!!) and i still don't have my computer yet..i feel like i'm in the stone age..i digress...alot...

ring...ring..ring...

*in sleepy voice* hello

hello.....do you know a boy named country boy???

yeah

how do you know him?

*wakes up instantly* who the hell is this and why you all up in my shit????

i'm his girlfriend....now how do you know him?

we went to high school together...so the fuck what

so what high school did he go to then??

look..what's the reason you calling me..i'm not about to sit here and play 50 questions with yo ass.

i was going through his texts and y'all was talking about getting together this weekend. is that true..and btw did you fuck him, and why does he have your number saved in his phone as his baby mama?????

(mumbles)wow..it's too early for this shit...(pause)....why don't you ask your man these questions?

cause bitch...i'm asking you

*though bubble----i know this hoe ain't just call me a bitch----end though bubble*
alright hoe look.....i don't think you know who the fuck you talking to first off cause i'm not the bitch to fight over dick..and if he is so much yo man....he sure didn't mention shit about you when he was chilling with me for the past couple of days. please sweetie..don't take the insecurities you have with your man out on me. now...like i said.....call HIM up....ask HIM if we chilled...if he was coming to see me this weekend and if we fucked...and after he answers that last question...ask him to tell you how good it was.

hang up

see i don't want to be a bitch...but girls seem to always bring it out of me. i always tell these chicks...YOU. DO. NOT. KNOW. ME.
you don't know that i hit like a man...you don't know i already been to jail for battery...you don't know how many times the police had to escort me home..you don't know about my anger problems and how it landed me in anger management...court order. people think just cause i'm quiet that they can fuck with me....i will say it again....YOU. DO. NOT. KNOW. ME.

the nerve of that bitch....getting mad at me cause her man...my ex-man....still want to be with me. is she mad cause this nigga been asking everybody i know if they seen me cause he wants to see me..chill with me?
how you gonna get mad at me??? lol


i'm going to describe country boy for darius t. williams(whom i shall call papa for now on..lol) he is around 5'11....180lbs of pure muscle...dark skin...the whitest and prettiest teeth you will ever find...his upper body is gorgeous...the type muscles you just have to touch..then touch again. he doesn't do the sagging pants...always wears a belt....(his boxers and socks must match...he likes Tommy Hilfiger) his only flaw is his little chicken legs..hahahahahaha...but it works for him!!!!! i love the fact how he reminds me of my dad...he works really hard...does alot of things using his hands...he is a real man's man, and they both share the same initials(that was really random but true). he is also HUNG LIKE A HORSE...but you didn't hear that from me!!!!

why dpes it seem like i attract drama????
why does it always seem to come my way..
maybe this happened as reassurance that i don't need to be in sc...
or maybe this happened to prove how bad of a bitch i really am!!!! after 3 years of not seeing or talking to this guy..he still wants to be with me.
he even told me that he doesn't care what other nigga i'm talking to...as long as i can be in his life it doesn't even matter.

history of country boy coming soon....

to pierce or not to pierce..that is the question!!!

i know your wondering about that title....you'll have to wait..hahahaha

the past week has been really busy for me.
i got the keys to my new apartment...YAH!!!
got furniture...and had to come back to sc for my uncle's funeral.
the day of the funeral was really sad....we all got through it as a family though.
i was kind of upset knowing that mr.x didn't even think to call and check up on me...him knowing that me and my uncle were close since my dad died...
when he finally called a day later....i didn't want his condolences...he said he was going to call but figured i need my space....whatever... speaking of mr.x...we had another big falling out....i've never been so sick of him....i digress

on the 4th....me and my girls went out to a 4th of july fest in out hometown's park. we had fun. i ended up running into my ex....way back in high school....we went to prom together. i'll have to do another post about that...we'll call him country boy.
it was the weirdest thing...i did not expect to see him...but we chilled..he took my phone number...saved it in his phone as jadore(wifey)...he came over to my house later on that night...and we talked..caught up on good times...he told me how he would always ask people about me, cause he could never catch up to me...he said he wanted to stay the night....and as much as i wanted him to too(remember people...5 months celibate..not by choice)...i had my kids with me(little bro and sis)...have to set a good example. when he was about to leave, he said he couldn't let me go...he was soo happy that i was back in his life. he held on to the bottom of my dress for dear life...i thought it was cute...

one of my brothers ex girlfriends came to out house for my unc's funeral. we are really close. we were up late at night, and she told me how she got her clit pierced. she told me how it was done...and that it didnt really hurt...it almost feels like getting your tongue pierced..which i had before. she showed me the picture she took of it on her phone. it got me wondering...should i get pierced???? i'm a little afraid though...i like rough sex and my fear is it getting ripped out...i don;t even want to think about that. i think i'm going to do a little research on it...and maybe i'll go and get pierced....

ummm....what else is going on in my little life????????
going to see hancock tonight.....i don;t know why they would mane a film hancock....it sounds to me like a masturbation video....hand-cock....never mind me..i'm stupid

death...you are a cruel, cruel man

so at 10:58pm on June 27....my uncle passed away.

i was hoping we could have went just 1 year without a death in the family...

we sat in the hospital while the cord was pulled...and he slipped away...

at least it wasn't this long drawn out process like when my godson died around this same time last year.

i went in his room..when he was still holding on...barely...i saw him, but wished i hadn't.

i hate dead bodies. he wasn't dead at the time..physically at least...but mentally..we all already knew

i'm not afraid of death...i'm just creeped out by the bodies.

i never want to see the dead bodies...i would rather remember them in good times...

i hate times like this..

sigh...

another setting up...another funeral..another burial...more heartaches...more grieving...not
looking forward to it.

i was at my aunt's house since 8 o'clock this morning..cleaning...
ended up being the designated go-getter...go get food...go pick up the kids...go to the store....i did see an ex boyfriend of mine there though...haven't seen him since graduation....he sure has grown up. we locked eyes as i was passing the isle he was on...my first thought was who is that....my next thought was damn...that's D. he came up to me....and we talked for a while. he offered to take all the heavy stuff...ice is VERY heavy when this fine piece of specimen is talking to me...to my car. we got there...exchanged numbers....told him i was leaving for va tomorrow...he said he would come visit....
story developing...

can you believe i STILL haven't started packing...and yet here i am...blogging...then going to not 1 but 2birthday parties!!! i know i won't be back till late...i look at it as the best things are done at last minute....

about the whole tag thing.....

i maybe the only earthling on this little planet that does not have a ipod....plan on getting one soon though!!!

wrap up

ya girl is back from va....unfortunately i had to come back and go straight to the hospital to see my uncle.

he's not doing good. when i went in to see him, tears came to my eyes. i don't know which is worse...having your father taken from you really fast or having to watch him die slowly. hopefully, he won't die....
hopefully he'll get better...
but just seeing him lying there...so lifeless...not even able to breathe for himself...really hurt me. and to see my grandmother so sad because she might lose yet another son.

on a brighter note....my week in va was great.
i guess i wasn't expecting everything to move along so quickly..but it did.
i was there for 5 days and came back to sc already enrolled in college(which i wasn't planning on starting until the spring) and a move in date for an apartment!!!

my only vice about va is my fear of bridges and tunnels....i hate bridges and tunnels sooooo bad. i have this really weird fear that while i'm traveling on the bridge, it will crack and the bridge will crumble and there will be no way out of my car, and i'll drown while me and my car sink to the bottom of the ocean.....or while i'm driving in the tunnel, there will be this HUGE accident and cars will pile up over cars....or like on i robot.....where the robots attack him....i watch too much tv...i know!!! lol
i'm learning to get over it. when i first saw it....i got butterflies in my stomach...my palms started sweating...i almost had a panic attack....then not only a bridge...but the bridge leads right into a tunnel....talk about conquering my fears...i will have to travel that everyday.....or at least the days i have school.

my next task at hand.....finding a job.....i hate looking for a job.

i'm moving in on the 30th...yay!!!...and getting a new computer..macbook pro(thanks mom)....so once i get settled in...i'll be able to blog more...which will be interesting....prepare for lots of stories about me getting lost and meeting all new people.

randomness....

i've been kind of out of it lately.
no one to blame but myself.
i'm in need of some rough sex...ass smacking, hair pulling, strings free rough sex...
gas is coming down a wee bit, but not that much for a bitch who like to stay on the go(i talk alot of shit about gas..but i STILL stay on the go!!!)....
i want a new car...
i want to try a new hairstyle...
i want to go shopping...
i'm always tired...
i think i'm still hungover from friday night...it was THAT bad...
i'm bored...
it's raining...
i miss my daddy...it IS fathers day(went to put flowers on his grave today and this big ass eagle comes out of nowhere and starts circling his grave...scared the shit out of me...the bird was HUGE!!!!!)
i'm pissed off at mother nature...aunt flo, i hate you...
going to virginia in the next days...don't feel like driving the 6 hours to get there..might try to make it in 5...

okay...i'm done complaining like a little bitch...

just not feeling like doing anything now...except lay on my lazy ass!!!!

btw...happy fathers day to all the daddies...


deuces